Tag Archives: Dating

20 Years, Where Has the Time Gone?

Twenty years ago this summer I graduated from high school. A couple of weekends back, I had my twenty year reunion. I was not going to go, but through the past few weeks of talking to people (who were not in my class) and a one who was in my class. My mind was changed and I was talked into going. Go have fun and enjoy every bit of the night was the advice I got, I was determined to do just that, once I decided to go.

Friday night started with a social night at a classmates house. Once I decided to go to the event, I had to get ready, what does one wear to a gathering at a classmates house where some of the people you have not seen in 20 years… I decided on Jean Capris and a v-neck t. Finally get there and it was a great time reuniting with people that I had not seen for 20 years. While some people I had connected with on Facebook, there were many that I really had no idea what they had been up to.  One of the nicest but at the same time most frustrating complements was “Your single, have no kids and have your own house… you are a catch for any man.” Or something close to that. While I know he meant it as a complement, at the same time, he made me think what is wrong with me.  All in all, the night was fun.

As Friday night wrapped up, I had made a decision to attend the next evenings event.  Saturday night was a nicer event at a local restaurant. We were going to be on the back patio… summer time, 20 year reunion… again, what to wear. After going through my closet, I realized that I had nothing that I wanted to wear, I decided to go shopping for something new. I found a cute silky tank top which I paired with black capri pants. I arrive, get my name tag and talk to a couple of people. Saw my “best” friend from high school (totally got the cold shoulder) and talked with a couple of other classmates. As I was sitting at a table, a few husbands came up and asked if they could sit at the table. I said no problem and asked who they belonged to… I got some BS answer and had to walk away and find a drink. Funny thing is just by looking at them, one could tell that they were assholes in HS… and some people never change. The rest of the evening was spent catching up, listening to a band and having some drinks.

Once the “party” was over… we headed down the street to a local bar. Where some classmates who didn’t come to the event were hanging out… and I ran into “Guy 2” from my previous post.

While I wasn’t planning on going to any of this reunion… I am so very glad that I attended both nights. If I had any advice to share, I recommend going to your reunion.

Advertisements

Breakups and Paybacks

As a single woman, I have been through a variety of breakups… some on my part… and some on the part of the guy. Some have disappeared from my memory bank and some have been slammed right back to the forefront of my mind. One of the most recent “Guy 1” (not the most recent but recent) breakups I experienced was on his part… it was almost as bad as Carrie’s breakup on Sex and the City … Breakup by Post it Note. This break up was really non existent. We had been dating for 6 months, and all of a sudden, I called him after a weekend class to determine our plans, and I got a “quit stalking me”. The most recent… was a guy “Guy 2” that I went out with for two dates. Two… this one just completely stopped talking to me. This one, is where the paybacks come in. Guy 2, I met right after high school… He was 5 or 6 years older than me… and beautiful. We went out on two dates, I got scared, I was this scared little girl… and stopped talking to him. At the time, while I really liked him, I didn’t really know how to communicate my “scared” feelings, I also wanted to see the world… he was “grown” and I was just getting my wings. I while I liked him, I sure wasn’t ready to give up my future, my schooling. Fast forward about 20 years, probably exactly 20 years. I ran into Guy 2 after my class reunion. A group of us went to a bar after the reunion. As I was walking through the outside bar, I saw this beautiful man… I stopped, backed up and stared… was it him? I said Guy… and no response, Guy 2… he turned around and we locked eyes and stared at each other for a minute. We had a great few minutes talking and catching up… when all of a sudden he reminded me of our two dates and my not talking to him. As I explained to him my side… he seemed to forgive. We talked a few minutes and then I moved on into the inside of the bar to talk with some former classmates. As the evening went on, he ended up inside the bar talking with me. We exchanged numbers…. and he kissed me good-bye. Fast forward two dates later… and then nothing.

Breakups are awkward, and hard to do… but I think honest conversation is so much better than nothing….

I find it interesting that Guy 2 says he is looking for a good woman… not a psycho, no drama, a nice girl… and like I have heard guys say to women…. you say the words, but when you find one… you don’t really want her.

The dreaded question…

Why’s a girl like you still single? Good come back… I don’t know, why are you married? These day’s when I think about all the cheating I see going on in the news… what is the point exactly?

Yep, I’m single… I am a 30 something… successful (at least in my eyes) gainfully employed, own my own house, no major debt, no children, not crazy (at least I don’t think so, down to earth, pretty and smart woman. So why am I still single?

Most days my answer is because I enjoy my freedom, but in reality, I am not sure I do things that I wouldn’t do if I were in a relationship. My other reason… I haven’t met the “right” man yet. I do say yet, I hold out hope that there is someone out there and it isn’t someone I passed in the store or saw one night at the bar oh so long ago. As I have been unpacking, I have come across letters from ex-boyfriends… reading them I wonder what if I would have stayed on that path where would I be today, who would I be today. I think all the choices we make (good and bad) help us become who we are today… so I wonder, what if I would have said yes instead of no.

Back to answering the question, my favorite answer by far, I heard in the movie Just Wright – “I just haven’t found what I am looking for… The one I can’t live without.” So far I have dated many a guy some very different from one another… some similar to one another… and yet at the time, not a one has been one that I want to live my life without. Let alone someone I want to share my life with. Sure there have been a few that I thought, well maybe… but then when I stepped back and examined what I was really looking at or feeling… something inside said nope at the time.  What is your come back to the question?